The Power of Positive Thinking with Multiple Sclerosis

Before you read this blog, I recommend you read the lyrics of this song. If you need a pick me up, some motivation this is the song for you.

Alternatively, you could click here and it will take you to the lyrics.

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Here we go lads, prepare to have your spirits lifted and be granted a new lease on life! No. Don’t be silly. On a serious note, this entry isn’t entirely aimed at people with MS, but, instead everyone can benefit from positive thinking. Changing one negative thing into a positive a day can make a massive difference to you and your perception on life.

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Now, anyone who knows me can vouch for me when I say I was never a happy bunny. Smiling wasn’t my forte (still isn’t..but moving on!). I can safely say that MS has changed my outlook on life. Changed for the best, might I add. Some people were under the impression that I should have been down in the dumps, isolating myself from “life”. Nah, effort. Don’t misunderstand me, I get bad days. Who doesn’t? I pity myself, feel sorry for myself and just feel absolutely fed up. I can’t stress how often I feel sick and tired of always being sick and tired. The most important thing after having days like this, don’t give up. Hop back on your noble steed and keep riding into the sunset.

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Why should you think positively about MS? That’s not the question. Its, why should we think negatively about MS? Look, it’s a crap disease; some people are worse off than others. The way I see it; my Relapsing-Remitting MS is not a death sentence.  I am not dying from this diagnosis. My lifespan is not affected either. So, why be all depressed? I can’t do anything about it. It’s out of my hands. So, take a deep breath and relax!

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“When life hands you lemons..” and all of that jazz. Make the most of what you have. Find something to cling on to and to give you a reason to be positive. It could be as simple as yourself, your mother, your father, a sister or a brother, a teddy bear for all I care! Find that anchor, and don’t leave go.

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The way I see thing is; I could be at home sulking and still thinking; “why me, what did I do to deserve this?” But, let’s face it; being negative is tiring. I’m lazy enough as it is, I don’t need negativity and depressing thoughts to hold me back too. It takes more energy and effort to be negative. When you’re in a negative state of mind you begin to dwell on the bad things. You become blind to all of the good experiences and things that are going on around you, whereas if you think positively you can enjoy the good stuff. You can soak up the “good energy” and that kind of thing.

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Yes, I experience weird ass symptoms, yes I am tired, yes it is hard, frustrating and upsetting, but, let it go. Cry if you have to, scream if you need to, but, don’t do anything stupid like giving up. Wipe away your tears, breath after you scream. Stop. Remind yourself that you are still here! Remind yourself of how lucky you are to be living. Be grateful for what you have.

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It’s very easy to give up. For some reason, finding a purpose to hold on, to keep going and not to give up can be difficult. Think of a reason to be strong. Whatever is it that makes you feel like you can keep going, grasp that purpose and never let go of it. You’ll be surprised how easy life will get after this little step. A little goes a long way, one step at a time and for feck sake, STAY POSITIVE!

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Didn’t I tell you that you’d be inspired and uplifted after reading this? Positivity is easy. Just do it. You’ll thank me when you see the results and differences it will make to your daily life.

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Being Diagnosed

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I sat down, watched as my neurologist opened my chart and then I waited. I felt my heart jumping out of my chest; “be good news, let it be good news.” That’s all I remember going through my head. He looked down at the papers in front of him; drawing his hands together he linked his fingers and took a deep breath in. Before looking me straight in the eyes, his expression changed. His face dropped. “Shit.” I thought to myself.  I knew by the look on his face that he didn’t want to tell me the news as much as I didn’t want to hear it.

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He began to explain to me that the protein they were looking for in the lumber puncture was positive for the one commonly found with Multiple Sclerosis. I froze; my sense of time was non-existent. My mind went completely blank. I remember these thoughts rushing through my mind; “What do I do now?” “What would happen to me?” I can recall a strange “play” dramatize in my mind. I was like the damsel in distress, sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. The room started to get smaller and smaller, fear and uncertainty began to set in. Can you say “overwhelmed”?

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After what seemed like decades, I felt my head begin to nod. I could feel a soft smile wipe across my face and next thing I know I’m hearing my voice, its saying; “okay. It could be worse.” I wasn’t thinking; these words were just coming out of my mouth. It was like an automatic reaction. Who was saying this? Why are my lips moving and where is the sound of my voice coming from?

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Next thing I know my neurologist began to explain the different types of treatment that were available to me. His mouth was moving, but, at that time I remember thinking “I’ll just walk out of the door and when I come back in we’ll try this again.” Yeah, good logic, Karolyn! Don’t be stupid!

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Suddenly, I’m sitting in the car, texting and calling people while being totally absent minded.  “I have MS.” I didn’t even know what it was. Now I’ve just been told that I have it, this was surely just a dream? From then on the day just blended together. Time still had no meaning to me. I recall repeating to myself; “everything will be okay”, just for reassurance and a sense of calm, I think. The last thing that I remember from that day is going upstairs to my room and crying for what felt like hours. Tears rolled out of my eyes until I had no more tears to shed. My whole world had just crumbled and started to suffocate me. “How am I supposed to deal with this?” “What will MS do to me?”

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It’s pretty safe to say that my initial reactions was denial, shock, fear, uncertainty and most importantly, un-fucking-lucky!

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Over the next few days I started to feel a lot of hatred towards myself. What was wrong with me? Had I done something to deserve this? Was Karma just giving me the finger? Then it clicked. There was a voice inside my head that shouted “shut the fuck up and grow a pair!” You know what? I’m damn well glad that I came to that assumption! What in the world was I thinking? Was I a depressing bitch or what? Feeling all sorry for myself was only making things worse! For some unknown reason I was chosen to carry the burden of Multiple Sclerosis. So, I decided, I’ll carry it with pride and by no means was it going to change who I was! I am me NOT Multiple Sclerosis.

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I could have been given 6 months, that’s what I’d tell myself. Don’t get me wrong, it could have been a hell of a lot better too! But, what was this negative attitude doing to me? What was it doing for me? Sweet fuck all, that’s what! From then on, I changed how I felt about my diagnosis. It wasn’t the end of the world. It wasn’t life or death. It was just something that I had to adapt to. Humans are experts at that, after all. So, I caught my upset, denial, uncertainty and hatred, locked it into an imaginary box and replaced those feelings with unicorns, rainbows and marshmallows! Ha..yeah..no. I just took MS in my stride. I wanted to show everyone that I could do it. Multiple Sclerosis was NOT going to defeat me. I would show people that I am stronger than my diagnosis and something as little as MS would not stop me!

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I still get bad days, we all do. With or without MS. I just get back on my noble steed and continue towards the sunset! Laugh and be merry! And all of that shit.

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